Love and Drugs
by Tobiyaki
Summary: After two years of Persona 3; Fes Akihiko had taken a turn for the worst. Resorting to drugs to cure his pain he was slowly losing himself. Who knew Shinji would appear and attempt to save him before he completely faded.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction::

This story is set two years after Persona 3 FES. Will contain Spoilers. It revolves around Akihiko and how he is quickly breaking down over the loss of his best friend. He resorts to drugs, where Shinji begins to haunt his dreams, thoughts, and his real life.

Will Contain; Spoilers, drug use, adult scenes, and eventually death. Heavy Angst.

I'm writing again. :) I hope you guys enjoy this. None of the characters belong to me, so I take no credit.

Onto the story!

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Akihiko's eyes shut as he curled his fingers sharply into his own chest, exhaling a sharp breath as he felt his eyes water. It had been two years since he had last seen Shinjiro, since the group had defeated Nyx, and Aigis' decision where she would live as a human or not.

Yet over the two years he lived without Shinjiro he found it harder to pass the time. A broken heart wasn't one to mend easily, mostly when the boy died before your eyes.

Slowly standing Akihiko moved to the window of his own home. He had moved out of the dorm after he graduated and finished helping the world. He of course lived alone, frequent visits from Mitsuru and Yukari. Although he felt more closed off, and preferred to be alone.

A shaky hand rose as he pressed his fingers to the cold window, winter already having hit the area. He couldn't help but feel his lips curl into a smirk his eyes lowering as the silver-haired boy though, a low chuckle leaving his lips.

"Sanada." The firm voice echoed through the room, making Akihiko's fingers jerk from the window as he faced the redhead. Mitsuru stood in the door, her arms crossed and a frown touching her painted lips. The woman was wearing a white button down shirt, an usual black skirt laying over her long legs, with the same heels. She hadn't seemed to change over her two years, but supposed it for the better.

"Sanada.." She started again stepping into the room as she frowned at her childhood friend. "Tch, you need to get out.. You're always in here.." She murmured her eyes lowering, not surprised too much when Akihiko turned around.

Akihiko's fingers touched the glass once more before he just sort of snorted. He wasn't too into the scene anymore, his time in boxing died out, and his scholarship probably already passed. He didn't feel no motivation, even if he always bragged he'd do everything better now for both he and Shinjiro. He moved around and sat down onto the futon, his head lowering as his fingers fisted at his boxers looking up to find the redhead gone, and he couldn't help but laugh lowly. No one seemed to stay around it was just his luck.

He slowly laid back down, stretching his long legs out over the futon so his feet hung off. His arm moved and draped over his own face, lips curling into a smile as he let himself fall back to sleep.

~~

_Akihiko ran after Shinjiro as the male walked out of the hopsital, frowning at his friend. "Hey, wait! Shinji!" He called after the other man stepping up behind him. He held his jacket over his own shoulder, as he always seemed to be doing. "What the hell is going on?" He questioned the back of the other man's head, frowning at him. "Why do you have those pills?" Suppressants.. Of all things. He wasn't surprised Shinjiro stayed quiet, so he continued. "I heard about those, they're taken to suppress a Persona when the user can't control it.." He was sure that Shinjiro knew, too. "But the side effects.." His eyes rose as Shinji turned around to face him continuing to frown. "You're not taking them are you?" He demanded. Though when Shinji stayed quiet his anger spiked, glaring at his friend. "Answer me!" He demanded once more surprised at the other man's answer._

"I don't owe you anything." Shinji muttered, just sort of staring at the male that stood before him.

"Tch.. The same as always." Akihiko snorted, glaring at the male who stood before him. He received a sharp glare from Shinjiro, who retorted quickly with his own response. "Save it, I've heard it all before. You think I'm wasting my power, but you're too thick-headed. I'm tired of your damn preaching."

He had felt the anger boil in him, and he jerked his fist letting it collide with the other boy's cheek. His body shook with little trembles, ignoring the people who looked then quickly left. Shinjiro just didn't understand, he would lose him.. And he couldn't lose another person.

~~

Eyes snapped open as Akihiko awoke, the light already gone from outside as night had settled. A light coat of sweat was touching his body, which he quickly wiped off his forehead and let out a little sniffle. He had been having dreams lately, repeats of what had happened, everything was going downhill. He wasn't Akihiko anymore, the confident young man that quickly took lead as Minato did. He had been taking drugs, ones that no one believe that Akihiko would even bother to take. Heroin had taken over his life, abused his arms but made him feel better. His inside elbows touched by itchy scabs that usually bothered him during the nighttime, where he usually had his spikes.

Slowly rolling over Akihiko grabbed the box beside his bed grinning as he gazed at it. His lips parted as he debated over shooting up, it would help him fall back to sleep.

Eyes began to droop as he gave a low sigh his fingers twitching a little bit. He was surprised though as a hand set over his own just sort of staring at it before he looked up. Brown hair and pale skin covered his view, which made him do a double-take. The black-beanie held the person's head, with the familiar long red jacket lined with black collars. Lanky legs and a thin frame, it was obvious Shinjiro was standing before him.

Pale lips fell apart as he stared up to Shinjiro, his head raising a moment more as he shifted his fingers under the dead man's. He didn't even register the small box being pulled from his hands and the darker haired male scolded him. He saw his lips move, but he found himself not able to do anything but stare, his eyes beginning to burn as tears swelled in his eyes. He was surprised as Shinjiro laughed and got on the bed next to him and a finger was in his face.

"Aki.. Stop your crying.." The firm voice scolded, his sickly form moving as he moved a hand out and slid his fingertips over Akihiko's cheek. "You're breaking down.. Why are you doing this to yourself..? So much for being strong for both of us.."

Akihiko was surprised, fingers curling into his sheets as he listened to the other man beside him. He finally turned his head as the fingertips touched his skin looking towards the man beside him. "Shinjiro.." He started, moving his hand and gently sliding his hand over the taller man's shoulder. He was dreaming wasn't he? But the feeling of his heavy heart proved otherwise. He was into Shinji's arms within seconds, his face pressed firmly down into the man's collarbone letting out a sharp exhale. If he was going crazy he preferred it, everything seemed to be lifted off his shoulders.

Shinjiro frowned though, his hand moving to curl itself over the other man's waist as he held Aki to his chest his head tilting to the side as he placed his cheek onto the male's head. His eyes slowly shut as he listened to the gently chokes and noises of the male before him. "Now, Akihiko.. This isn't like you.." He started surprised when his chest was hit by a formed fist, falling quiet. His long fingers moving as he slid them up into Akihiko's hair pulling the trembling man into his lap his head tilting down.

He didn't understand why he felt like this, why Shinji was sitting before him. Nevertheless he pressed closer his fist moving slowly about Shinji's neck as he coughed sharply. He had changed.. Shinji had too, he supposed no one stayed the same. Though he felt the anger boil in his body again and he lifted his head glaring more at Shinji when he noticed the sad look he was getting. "You.. Fucking idiot!" He started and shook his head shutting his eyes tightly a moment. "You just.. Tch.. You didn't deserve to die, Shinjiro.. I need-" He was quickly cut off as cold lips pressed into his own silencing his rambling. Gaze softened as he stared at Shinjiro, his eyes slowly shutting as he pressed his lips back into the other man's. What a thing to talk about, kissing a dead boy..

All thoughts were quickly pushed aside as he found himself on his back, exhaling sharply as he leaned his head up eyes shutting tightly as the lips broke from his own. A low gasp leaving his lips as those cold lips found themselves on his neck, gently biting his skin and hands pinning his wrists to the pillow. "Shinji.." He was surprised he even managed to say anything, another gasp leaning his lips as the male bit his collarbone. His eyes opened as he looked down to Shinji, sniffing a moment as he looked him over. The dark-haired male had a devious look on his face, and he was honestly wishing he could move his arms. He exhaled though shaking his head as he felt Shinjiro move, the man's legs going on either side of his and pressing more weight into his wrists.

"You need to stop the drugs, Aki.." He whispered leaning down and sliding his lips slowly over Akihiko's adam's apple. His hips dipping down to lightly rub against the male's toned stomach smirking at the response he received.

Akihiko gasped as his fingers curled tightly his head slumping back into the pillows his toes curling up. "A-ah.. But…" He started, gasping once more as he earned a sharp bite to his neck as a scolding.

Head slowly rolled to the side as he looked towards the man atop of him though he paused. "Shinji..?" He started slowly sitting up his eyes drooping. The dark-haired man was no where in sight, his box opened and the effects of heroin haven kicked in. Shaky hands moved as he grabbed the items, stuffing them back into the box. He exhaled sharply as he jerked, his head turning as the contents spilled across his floor, his hand rubbing over his face.

He hadn't remembered shooting up, nor had he had hallucinations of Shinjiro before, mostly of the naughty nature. He placed his hand to his own face though as he felt his mouth go dry his skin nice and warm to the touch. The high was great, it certainly took his pain away, yet he couldn't fill that spot.

His fingers twitched as he rolled over wrapping his arms about his pillow staring at the wall as he just sort of grinned. He supposed this wouldn't be too bad.. Going crazy and taking heroin just to see the person he missed? His eyes drooped and fell shut as he relaxed himself.

Too bad he didn't know the dark haired male stood to the side, fingers curled into the doorframe and watching him. Perhaps he wasn't crazy.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note;;

Persona nor the characters are not mine and I take no rights on them.

Includes Mature Content.

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Akihiko's rolled shut as he relaxed his face into the pillow. His hand was wrapped about himself, fingers pumping hard to match his sharp inhales. Knuckles were white as he fisted the sheet his lips curling into a little smirk. It was quite obvious what the male was doing, eyes shut and his hand working his length sharply on his hands and knees. He couldn't help himself, after last night where he had the view of Shinji, everything just seemed to get better. Lips slowly trembled apart as he made a choked noise arching his back as he released himself thickly onto the sheets below him. "S-Shinji.." He murmured lowly.

The abrupt laugh made his eyes quickly open, just sort of staring at the pillow he was leaning on before he quickly sat up. He turned his head as he wiped his hand over his pants freezing a moment more. Now, Shinjiro was standing before him and he certainly knew that he hadn't done any drugs yet he certainly saw the male before him.

Shinjiro sighed as he tilted his head to the side crossing his arms against his chest. He was dressed as normal in his usual attire, what would one expect?

"You know, Akihiko.." The male started his head tilting to the side his eyebrow raising a moment. "One honestly wouldn't believe that you masturbate to your dead friend.." He laughed lightly amused how the male's cheeks darkened and he just couldn't seem to look at him. Shinji tilted his head as he slowly walked forward turning himself around sitting down next to the spent male his head turning as he looked to the light-haired male.

Akihiko was to the least staring in shock at the other male. His head tilting down as he inspected his arms a second. "Shinjiro..?" He started his head lifting as he gazed back to the other male. He shook his head slightly as he tucked himself back down into his pants, his cheeks darkened in embarrassment that he had left himself out like that. Wiping his hand more against his pants he turned towards Shinjiro his eyes raising as he bit his own lip. Raising his clean hand he reached out and slid his fingertips over the male's cheek. His eyes widened a second as he noticed that the other male was in fact there smiling lightly at him. "Ah.. Shinji.." He stated his head raising a bit as he went to lean in to connect their lips, only to be greeted by air.

The darker-haired male gave a sigh as he turned his head moving his hand out and grasping at Aki's wrists yanking his arms out so he could gaze down at that. "I'm more concerned of this, then any reunion Akihiko.." He stated eyes raising as he looked up towards him shaking the male's arms. "This of all things..?" He questioned.

Aki looked away as he was scolded fingers curling sharply into balls swallowing sharply. "I just.. Don't know.." He winced as Shinji's voice rose.

"But this? What the hell happened to you saying that you'd go on for both of us?" His voice was raising head shaking. "This isn't fucking a way of moving on! You're killing yourself!" He moved Aki's wrists before letting them fall just sort of staring ahead at him. "You have so much going for you, Akihiko.. Why are you killing yourself? Why ruin everything?" He questioned his voice beginning to fade down as he loosened his tightening grip on Akihiko. He shook his head some as he pulled at the other male bringing the male up against his chest. Letting his wrists go instead he looped his arms about him holding the male tight to his body setting his head against his. He fell silent, just sort of staring down at the floor as he waited.

On the other hand Akihiko didn't know what to say, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes as he was shaken and yelled at. Then the warm rush of being enclosed, his eyes quickly falling shut as Shinjiro's scent filled him. It felt like he was enclosed in a bubble, yet ironically he wasn't rather just being in his arms. "I couldn't live without you.." He said softly his fingers curling into Shinjiro's chest as he inhaled.

Shinjiro didn't seem too pleased though, his eyes turning towards the male in his arms frowning sharply. "You're full of shit." He stated simply his eyes raising before he wrapped his arms about Akihiko's waist turning them slowly so he could lay down onto his back dragging Akihiko with him, hopefully dodging the other male's 'fun time'. His eyes lowered to watch Aki move atop of him to get comfortable lightly sighing as he slid his fingers through his hair. "Akihiko.. Look, for once I'm going to tell you that you need to stop.. You're fine without me, you're strong I know it." He chuckled lightly. "With that right hook of yours and such.. Not to mention you just can't leave Mitsuru, that'd just be unfair on her part.." He murmured. Eyes watching as Akihiko moved himself, eyes raising to the light-haired males. He smiled some his head tilting to the side as he noticed that Akihiko was smiling as well. Moving his hand he slowly pushed it into the male's short hair his head tilting to the side as he leaned himself up connecting their lips.

Akihiko couldn't help but shiver as he was kissed, arching his back slowly as he just sort of closed his eyes. He shivered just slightly as he placed his one hand on the other male's neck tilting his head he deepened the kiss. His eyes shutting tightly as the sweet smell of vanilla filled his nostrils parting his lips to slowly slide his tongue over the other male's lips. "You smell good, Shinji.." He murmured lowly as he shifted atop of him gasping gently as they were rolled open his eyes sliding open as he gazed up to his friend. Moving his one leg he hooked it against the other male's leaning up to nip and nibble at Shinji's skin.

"Ah.. Akihiko.." He murmured lowly as he shifted atop of the other male his eyes fluttering. His one hand slid itself slowly down Aki's side his fingertips pushing them into the hem of his pants. Moving his hips he pressed them into Aki's shivering as the male gave a soft cry of pleasure. Swallowing he looked the blushing male over moving his hand to pin one of Akihiko's down to the bed just sort of smirking at the other male. "Haha.. You always did have nice stamina, now didn't you..?" He mocked, moving his other hand down between them curling his hand around Aki and giving him a nice firm grope.

Sharply gasping Aki shifted under Shinji pitifully attempting to pull his hand away and raise his hips up to the hand at the same time. His cheeks flushed as he moved under him moaning sharply as he was ground into his head tilting back into the bed. "A-ah.. Fuck Shinji.." He whispered moving his free hand to grasp at the dead-male's shoulder.

Staring down at the male that was seeming to enjoy himself he just sort of grinned moving his body as he pinned the male's wrist to the bed. "Yeah.." He murmured as he shifted just slightly beginning to get a good pace of grinding himself down into the male leaning in and pecking a few times at his chin. He was quietly watching his friend enjoy his attention, his own breathing beginning to pick up as he moved. He knew that Akihiko was sure that he was a ghost, angel, or whatever one wanted to call him. Yet it was hard to believe how calm the other male was about it. Though his own thoughts were cut off as Aki had decided to lean in and give a sharp exhale in his ear then bite it. Eyes fluttered shut as Shinji let out his own pleased moan.

Akihiko trembled in delight exhaling sharply as he pulled at Shinji's ear his eyes fluttering. He moved his body moving his free hand to go down between them to grope his friend sharply in return. His head turning to rub his nose down the side of Aki's cheek blowing gently in his ear again. Making a soft noise of pleasure as he moved his hands, after fighting his one free from the other man's grasp. Fingers easily undid Shinji's buttons eyes widening a moment as Shinji pushed down onto his throat showering it in nips and bites. He exhaled sharply his head tilting forward to see what he was doing. He exhaled happily as his fingers finally got the last button, delighted as he slid his hands over Shinji's shoulders to push his jacket off him nodding his head. "Toss it off." He said softly eyes raising.

Smirking at Aki Shinji's eyes fluttered as he sat up some rolling his shoulders to get the jacket off his body. Moving his hands he yanked it the rest of the way tossing it off to the side with a sharp exhale. Eyes fluttered as he gave a pleased grin looking down to the other male with a chuckle. He couldn't help but wonder how this felt to be like, with a ghost that was. He looked him over slowly before his eyes rose as he looked the bed over for a second. Moving his body he slowly leaned down sliding his hands over Aki's bare chest chuckling lowly. He seemed amused how Aki gasped sharply and how the male's head tilted back. He looked him over slowly beginning to move down the other male's body. Pressing kisses along his sternum he stared up at him smirking just slightly once more.

Curling his fingers into Aki's pants he watched as the male gave a soft little gasp his head tilting to the side as he gave a grin. Pulling the front of Aki's pants down he wrapped his fingers about the other male's length parting his lips as he slowly slid his tongue over his slit eyes shutting. Taking the other male fully into his mouth he began to suckle on him with a little shiver of delight. Which mirrored for Aki as well as low moans from the other male.

Aki trembled as he moved his hand slowly placing it onto Shinji's head fingers curling into the other male's hat. Shinji didn't keep him waiting to say the least, beginning to bob his head suckling on the other male firmly. His other hand moving downwards as he began to fondle himself humming sharply easily sucking his best friend off. The light-headed male's moans easily filling the room as he lifted his hips trying to pitifully meet the other male's lips.

"S-Shinjiro.. I.." He pulled at the other male's hat giving a soft cry as he released himself for the second time that night it seemed. Body gave sharp spasms as he held onto the other man arching his back as he let out a sharp exhale trembling.

Though nevertheless Shinji ate what he was given, swallowing sharply as he other male slide from his lips panting sharply as he pumped himself faster. Staring down at Aki his lips curled into another pleased smirk trembling as his friend decided to help him. Eyes shut tightly and he exhaled sharply as Aki's hand grasped at him helping him get rid of the problem he currently had. His hips began to rock into that hand, sharply exhaling as he gave a shaky moan as he released himself into his pants. He trembled as he slumped down atop of the other male his head tilting down as he relaxed eyes slowly shutting. "Hnnn," He was completely content eyes not bothering to open as Aki rubbed his hands down his back.

Sighing lightly Akihiko looked the other male over just sort of smiling as he slid his fingers against his neck. "Shinjiro.." He repeated moving his hands as he hugged the other male tightly.

Shinji's eyes fluttered as he moved just slightly pressing his lips against his neck before he just sort of sighed as well. "Lets take a nap, Akihiko.. No heroin." He muttered lowly at him glaring at the male under him before he slowly rolled off of him opening his arms to let Aki get into his arms. Aki took no time wasting getting into the other male's arms grasping at the blanket as he pulled over them humming a little.

"All right.. No heroin.." He murmured softly to the other male just sort of smiling up to his friend. He didn't know how long it'd last, but his eyes quickly shut and he let sleep taking him once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note;;

I do not own anything from Persona 3!

WARNING;  
Includes drug-use.

Shorter then all the others, mostly an explaination of what Akihiko goes through. Enjoy~. Leave Reviews! They make me happy, like you guys are actually enjoying the

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Shaky hands moved as he grasped at his sheets yanking them off the futon his eyes lowering a moment. When he had awoken Shinjiro was once more gone, the thick release haven already settled on skin and sheets leaving an easy shine.

Akihiko sighed as he rose his hands rubbing slowly at his own eyes, leaning down to pick up his box of drugs and set it onto the nightstand. He stared, eyes locked on the dark wood fingertips lightly tapping at it. He had told Shinjiro he wouldn't, but he found himself wanting more of the thrill, to actually feel nice again.

He turned his head though staring off to the doorway his fingers twitching as he turned himself around stepping towards the window. Fingers pressed to the frame as he leaned forward his breath leaving a nice round white circle on the window, his lips curling into a pleased look. The snow had already began to fall it seemed, which made his gaze soften. He had almost forgotten it was nearing the middle of November, but he supposed he always forgot around this time where he fell victim of drugs.

Turning around he pushed off the sill and headed off towards the bathroom to begin the day.

~~~~~

Within a good half-hour Akihiko was dressed, his hair nicely dried and layers covering his body. Unlike usual days instead he wore a large brown coat, with the hood pulled over his white hair. Normal black pants held his hips, and his silly shows which he always seemed to wear. He knew he stuck out, fingers hidden by gloves as he bit his own lip moving down the steps.

Fingers shoved the door open as he stepped out onto the porch, no one taking a moment of their time to even notice him. He smiled though, his fingers twitching as he outstretched them palms facing the sky. It had been awhile since he bothered to see snow, he actually felt alive again.

Hands lowered though as he stepped down onto the sidewalk his head turning to the side as he gazed back up to the complex he had been living in. His hand raising to grab at his hood pulling it closer to his already red cheeks, exhaling sharply.

Stepping down away from the complex he headed around towards the side his eyes lowering to the snow. It was laying nicely, when he stepped forward the crunching under his shoes made him chuckle lowly. He stepped forward though and turned his gaze to the side slowly slumping to his knees, fingers digging into the snow as he stared down at him. He felt himself feeling better, he didn't see any of his wounds nor was he being pressured to stick a needle into his skin.

Fingers pushed through the snow as he leaned down so he was more on his hands and knees another sharp exhale leaving his lips. He felt wonderful, as if he had been floating. It made him smile to say the least, well that was until someone wrapped their arms about him.

Body tensed as the hands slid over his stomach his head turning around his hood to see the offender. Gaze instantly softened as he gazed up to Shinjiro his lips cracking into a pleased smile. He hummed lowly as he forced himself to sit up more shaking his hand before raising it to grab onto Shinjiro's cheek. Eyes slowly shutting as he crushed their lips together resting his ass easily into the other man's lap.

He felt perfect, on fire, and oddly warm in the other man's grasp. Teeth gently pulling skin as he leaned closer his hand digging up into the hair on Shinjiro's neck his head tilting more to the side. He hadn't felt this happy in a long time, not to mention it reminded him why he was in love with snow. The thoughts always returned to the other person in his arms.

He paused though as Shinjiro's lips broke from his, and gave a shiver as his hat was pushed away so the man could press his lips to his ear. Akihiko sighed at the feeling his eyes shutting until the word was whispered lowly in his ear. "Clear.." His body gave a sharp jerk as it felt like electricity ripped through it.

Eyes snapped open only to be greeted by blinding lights. He was laying on his back, and he felt unusually cold. He figured he must of passed out, though when the second Clear ripped through the room he knew something was off.

His eyes fluttered as he writhed a moment, fingers dragging against the side of his bed exhaling sharply. The first face came into focus, a person he had never seen before and covered in white. The one next to him a woman, whom he also didn't know. His head turned slowly as he looked from both his unusually dry lips parting as he gave a wince. He was glad when the surges stopped his head slumping to the side as he gave a weak noise. His eyes fluttering as he relaxed himself letting his body take over in sleep.

~~~~

Shivering he gave a groan at the low steady beep that echoed through the room. Eyes opening as he shifted arms moving only to be stopped by the Ivs. He was at a hospital, that hit him pretty quickly from the white of the room and the low hum of machinery.

His eyes quickly caught Mitsuru, the girl easily sitting at his side dressed warmly for once. Though to be honest he wasn't surprised to see her in the normal red-skirt the only thing different was the red jacket. He managed a smile though, only grinning when it was returned with a frown a low sigh emitting from his lips. Fingers fisted the sheets as she began to talk and he found himself for once not wanting to listen.

She moved herself though, closer to him in an attempt to perhaps knock some sense into the other male. Her head tilting down as she placed her slender fingers down onto the sheets shaking her head. "Akihiko," She started, her voice filled with a little 'oomph.' "When were you going to bother telling us? Drugs of all things? You could of-" She was quickly cut off by a sharp snort from Akihiko feeling his head shake.

"Look, Mitsuru.. I understand it, I could of died.. Fuck, I don't even remember what happened.. Where I was, anything.. I just remember going outside.. And-" He stopped, now he honestly couldn't tell the woman he had seen Shinjiro, she would of thought he was even more crazy. His gaze only raising when he heard her scowl, his head tilting to the side.

"Akihiko.. I found the box.. Not to mention when we found you, you certainly weren't with us." She looked away her arms crossing. "Really? Have you been doing this long? You seem like the one who doesn't understand.."

Aki couldn't help but pause his head shaking. He didn't remember shooting up, he remembered setting it on the table then leaving, right? He gazed towards her before his eyes shut as he rubbed at his lids forcing his brain to register, to remember anything..

~

Fingers tapped the box a moment and he just sort of sighed. He easily picked it up turning himself around and sitting back down onto his bed, Greedy fingers pushing the lid open and pulling out the packaged needle. He stared down at it, setting it down onto the bed to grab the rest.

Grabbing the cooker he turned himself setting down onto the table to easily begin to prepare it. Within minutes he placed the needle into his spoon pulling the plunger back and getting a nice dose. He grinned, setting the needle down to grab the band from inside the box turning himself and wrapping it quickly around his upper arm tightening it. Stretching his arm out he began to tap the veins, eyes lowering as he grabbed the needle again leaning down a bit.

Placing it to his skin he went to injecting himself, and when that was done he started to feel better. Nothing would bother him, it was just himself and his injection.

He placed the needle down yanking the band off his arm to get up and dressed.

It didn't take him long to get outside, lips curling into a grin as he reached out towards the snow a low chuckle. He turned himself carefully walking to the side area his eyes lowering to the snow. Tch, snow.. It always reminded him of Shinjiro, how the other man left him. He shivered some as he twitched, his eyes shutting tightly. The high was supposed to take it away, but it wasn't working as well anymore..

He trembled, feeling himself fall to his knees, fingers jerking to dig into the snow a sharp sob leaving his lips. He didn't understand, how could he be left like this? What had he ever even done, nothing he could remember before this..

He felt himself beginning to cough, his body shaking some as he attempted to catch his breath exhaling sharply. He felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to throw up and he was hot feeling himself sweating. It wasn't far anymore, he was tired of it all. His hand raising to wipe his tears away, his eyes giving a little flutter as he slumped falling unconscious.

~~

It hit Akihiko like a ton of bricks, remembering what happened, how Shinjiro wasn't there and his warm was only the side-effect of the drug. Eyes burned as he dug his hand into his own hair a sharp exhale leaving his throat as he shook his head. "M-Mitsuru.." He didn't know what to do, his head turning as he gazed down to his arms. The dark holes and scabs covered the inside, his hands clenching as he forced back a sob.

He didn't understand how he fell to this level, how he was so alone when he had so many there for him. His head turned to gaze to Mitsuru staring up to the woman as he shook his head a little bit. He didn't know what to say, nor do. The last few days had been so odd, he didn't even know who he was anymore, or if Shinjiro was actually visiting him.

Moving a hand though he wiped his cheeks his head tilting down. "I.. I need help, Mitsuru.." He felt his eyes close, his head tilting down. He felt defeated, not even noticing the woman's arms about his shoulders as she held him. He was losing a battle against himself, and for his sake he needed to do something.

Head lifted though as he gazed forward towards the door eyes resting easily on Shinjiro's form. He stared at him as tears licked his cheeks, gaze caught on the complete look of disgust on his own friend's face.

Please just kill me now…


	4. Chapter 4

Everything seemed so clouded, hazy.. He hadn't remembered the times he had shot up, where he found himself falling into a hole where he couldn't find a way out of. He had been taken to a rehabilitation center, currently sitting on the cleaned sheets.

Head tilted down as Akihiko pulled his leg up towards his own body, eyes snapping up as he heard an easy step of boots. Looking up towards Shinjiro he felt his lips crack into a smile his gaze softening on the other boy. It had been a week since he had seen anyone really. Withdrawal symptoms and tests didn't really put him in the mood to talk.

"Shinji.." He managed to say, the smile never leaving his lips. Eyes quickly following the man as the dead male walked over to him. Scooting over in his bed he exhaled lightly as Shinjiro sat down his eyes shutting as he rested his cheek lightly on his shoulder. His fingers curled into the sheets, arms bruised and scabbed over from the repeated use of his needles.

He felt his body tense as Shinjiro's hand stroked over his cheek and he couldn't help but smile some more bathing in the attention of his best friend. His eyes opened as the man's hand slid down to his leg and he was pulled into the older male's lap. Moving his arms he looped them around Shinjiro's shoulders and neck pressing his face into his skin.

It was obvious he had hit rock-bottom, and he couldn't help but tremble when the male's arms wrapped around his thin body. He inhaled, and pulled his head back his eyes lowering towards the other boy's face. "I'm sorry.." He said softly his eyes raising as he gave somewhat of a smile. His head tilted into the hand that was rubbing slowly over his cheek eyes falling shut. "I just.. Don't know.. I'm off the drugs.. Obviously in rehab." He continued looking up towards his face. "I was diagnosed with liver disease.." He murmured watching his friend's face. "I don't know if I really want to go through with the surgery.." He stated. "They have a liver for me, and everything.. But I don't know." He gazed up towards his face. "I'm not happy here, but if I don't get it I'll end up dying through liver failure." He smiled some moving his hand to set it over Shinjiro's cheekbone sliding his thumb back and forth against the bone.

Shinjiro finally sighed, wrapping his arms more around the lithe boy, fingers grasping at the white shirt he was wearing. "Quit being a dumbass.." He said softly staring at him. "You don't deserve to die, nothing like that." He murmured as he hooked his arms around the boy's waist and jerked him closer moving onto his knees so that Akihiko would fall back down onto his back. His eyes rose as the boy gasped and he couldn't help but feel himself smirk. "You deserve to be here.. But happy.." He murmured sliding his hands down the other boy's sides staring up to Akihiko as the male began to blush. "Nn.. Like that.." He murmured lightly.

Shifting his body he slowly moved his hand between them both, easily setting it onto Akihiko's crotch. Squeezing him lightly eyes rose again as he rubbed himself some over Aki's leg.

Akihiko couldn't help but softly moan, his head tilting back as he was rubbed. "S-Shinjiro.." He said softly his head tilting backwards. "That's it.." He murmured lightly opening his legs a little more his head tilting down as the hand worked its way into his pants. Face crunching up as he was rubbed slowly lifting his hips upwards. "H-gnn.." He murmured.

Head turned to the side surprised when Shinjiro's lips connected to his neck showering it in nips and kisses. "O-oh.." He exhaled dragging his hands up his friend's back. He trembled in delight, head tilting down so he could move his own hand, pressing it up against Shinjiro's crotch before turning his head and connecting their lips quickly.

It had been a long time since he felt like this, not counting their little spurts that happened every so often. He shuddered though, and let out another soft groan as the male slowly pulled his pants down. Lifting his ass off the bed he turned his head, cheeks flushing as the pants were pulled off and dropped out of their way. Pushing himself into a sitting position he crushed his lips into Shinjiro's gently biting at the skin and pulling at it. He couldn't help but laugh softly as the fingers drug up his sides staring up at his friend as he rose his hand and dug it into the other boy's hat pulling it off and tossing it to the side. Shaky fingers lowered as he pushed them into the other man's jacket rolling over his shoulders and smiling as the male helped him get out of the jacket. Fingers sprawled over the other boy's shirt, leaning forward as he brushed their lips together feeling his toes curl up. Breaking only for a second so that he could pull the older man's shirt off he leaned in and pressed his lips lightly to the dead boy's collarbone exhaling lightly on it.

It didn't last long as he found himself on his back again, a soft laugh leaving his lips as he scolded the older boy. "Shinjiro..!" He scolded lightly. Though the frown on his face disappeared to be replaced with a loud moan as the man's lips suddenly pressed into his clothed crotch. He fidgeted some his head tilting back as he lightly pawed at the man's head. "Nn..nn.. Don't.." He panted head lowering to look up at Shinjiro, smiling softly at him as he looked him over. "Just.. Fuck me." He sad softly his eyes raising. Hell, it had been awhile, and if this was all fake he didn't want it to end once more before they started.

Moving his hands as Shinjiro finally stopped he hooked his fingers into his own shirt and began to pull it off his eyes fluttering. He smiled at his friend watching the other boy as the male began to work out of his pants. He chuckled lightly as he lifted his hips up and pushing his pants off settling down as he sat naked in front of the male.

Slowly laying back down his eyes fell shut as Shinjiro followed placing his hand on the other boy's neck as he kissed Shinjiro lightly on his lips. A soft little gasp came from him as the man hooked an arm under his leg and hoisted it up his hands going to Shinji's shoulders. It all seemed like a blur as he was prepared gasping lightly. He shifted just slightly and his eyes shut tightly as he was penetrated letting out a whimper exhaling. It had been so long, yet it felt so good.

His head turning to the side as Shinjiro moved his body, and he helped by placing his leg over the other man's shoulder face tensing up. He arched his back as the man began to thrust and he felt everything begin to wash away. Everything was perfect, this is how he wanted it.

Mewls and gasps leaving his lips as he man worked his body, attempting to get him to release. Though surprisingly he didn't last as long as he expected to. Sharply releasing between them he gave a soft cry tilting his head up in delight. He kept his eyes shut, after to open them after this, as Shinjiro just seemed to disappear whenever he opened them. Though the sharp pants that touched his ear made him shiver, and eyes slowly opened to gaze up to his friend. They were both touched in sweat, cheeks flushed as they relaxed upon each other.

"Shinjiro.." He murmured, gasping softly as they were rolled over so he could lay atop of the skinny man. He set his cheek onto Shinji's shoulder panting loudly as he attempted to catch his break. Head tilted down ignoring the fact the blanket was being pulled up around them letting out a soft little sigh. There it was.

"I love you, Akihiko.." A soft murmur, as if a whisper. He felt his lips curl into a smile, his head tilting downwards as he curled his fingers up into the other man's chest. "I love you too, Shinjiro.." He felt himself murmured soothed by the man's breathing as he quickly fell asleep.

OoC||_ c: Hope you enjoyed it. I'm back again~. Thanks for all the reviews! Made me smile. /


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